In Simon Sinek's presentation, he talks about the strength of brands and why some brands have such a strong connection with customers while others, not so much. His main point, is that people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it.
This is a very insightful perspective on marketing and sales, but the assertion doesn't necessarily apply to people. As people lead exceedingly busy lives, trying to consume maximum amounts of news and social media content in the minimal amount of time, or rushing around checking items off the ever-growing to-do list, there is little time left to invest in figuring out who a person really is. What does this person stand for? What values does he or she represent? What philosophies do they adopt in their life?
Trying to get an accurate representation of someone in a limited amount of time is like trying to be certain someone is your soulmate from a 2 minute conversation at a speed dating event. There are just too many variables with not enough time to explore them all.
Yes, given time, the opportunity exists to get to know someone deeply. However, there is one major reason why people will open themselves up for an interaction with someone else. That reason is, there is some sort of personal benefit received from interacting with someone. Every single person in the world needs things and when you meet someone that can fulfill a need, you will make time for that person. In the same way, when someone meets you and you can give them something they need, they'll make time for you. This system of needs is the underlying reason why companies such as google, amazon, and eBay have grown to the magnitudes they're at today.
Not only do people need things, they need things RIGHT NOW! Time is the commodity. In an increasingly competitive world, Almost everyone is trying to get here, get there, get where they needed to be 15 minutes ago. Combining limited time and so many tasks to accomplish makes people eventually become very selective with how they spend their time and who they spend it with.
There is definitely a dynamic in play when it comes to human interaction and fulfilling needs. Though it may not be so easy to articulate the reasons why, as individuals we will naturally gravitate toward things that attract us, based on our needs and desires. We know what we like and what satisfies us and we'll actively seek that out.
What about when we are trying to attract something to us. We must market ourselves! Whether through signals such as physical appearance, validation from others, or possessing a certain skill, we establish a place for ourselves by being able to fulfill a need. People may be attracted to us initially by what we signal. However, they will eventually maintain and build a relationship with us because of why we do the things we do, which is an extension of who we are as a person.
When the person you are being, is in alignment with the things you are doing, then you will have all of your needs fulfilled in the most appropriate way.